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Jokes thread!

"You're the cutest, most gorgeous woman I've ever seen..."

"You just want to fuck me."

"...and you're pretty clever too."
 





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A bloke brings a duck in to a vets and says can you save it. The Vet takes one look
at it and says it's dead. The bloke asks are you sure ??? The vet says yes. The blokes asks can you double check.

The vet brings a Golden Labrador in, the dog looks up and down the duck, looks at the vet and with sorrowful eyes, shook his head, the vet then brings in a cat, the cat sniffs the duck up and down, meows and shakes his head

The vet says no the duck is dead, they'll be a charge of $120, the bloke says how much ?? $120 just to tell me the duck is dead ??

The vet says it would of been $20 but you had a Lab report and a cat scan at $50 each making it $120 :D
 
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Having had the snip earlier this year, and a zero sperm count test a month ago, I cant wait till a chick tries that one on me :) .
 
Damn evil procedure i had my snips 15 years ago horrid during and after the operation ,i was told you may need a day or so of work ...i was off for 10 days and the pain was some of the worst I've ever had, glad i don't have to have that ever again when a doctor says its going to hurt some expect horror that area isn't an area for needles and scalpels ,stitches ...
 
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