The Particle’s Son

You know the guy they always make fun of in movies and TV shows — full-grown adult, wearing a Star Wars shirt, living with his mom? Well. On the surface that’s me in a nutshell. Except that I’m not a gamer, I have no online friendships in which I pretend to be a 13-year old girl, and though I live with my mom, I help her out around the house, and stay here because I’m disabled.
I survived a brain injury in 2009 that is normally catastrophic including a person’s ability to say the alphabet and wipe themselves, etc. However, rather miraculously,

I survived with enough of my normal cognitive abilities intact that I seem ‘normal’ but **I** am aware of what is gone, and I am unfit to work in any kind of team setting. And though it’s difficult to put into words. Its hard to talk about even when I do have the words.
I feel many days like a superhero who has lost his powers, and every day I feel that way, all I can do is try once more to get them back. Its very hard for me that I have retained a very clear and present sense of how my mind used to work, the processes I once used to search my own memories, and how automatic those processes were. Its not like that now.
On top of all of that I also was the victim of a 5-year old and a 5mw blue laser directly in my left eye, but that’s a story for another time.

“Be rather than seem to be” Or ... well ... technically you should “Be AND seem to be” because shapeshifting is just shady and immediately suspicious. And really really hard to explain to people after the fact.